Welcome back. One thing to keep in mind – while all this “baby-mama drama” was going on, we were also trying to start a new house-flipping business.
So, in between doctors appointments and trips to Clark Planetarium (to keep our 3-year-old happy), we were screening calls, setting appointments, marketing, etc.
On one hand, it was nice being able to focus my energy on work. It helped relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling about the twins. On the other hand, the optimism I had been feeling about moving, the pregnancy, business, and life in general was starting to erode with every visit the “Building #7.”
If you’ve ever visited the IHC Hospital in Murray, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Each building has a huge number on the front. Building #7 is the Women’s Center.
Learning of the twins’ growth discrepancies was just the beginning. Each subsequent trip to this place got worse. Brooke tried to keep her head up. She tried to reassure me that Maeve was just small. “Maeve is a fighter. She is strong. She will be ok.”
I truly wanted to believe her. I hoped and prayed that Brooke was right, and that Maeve would prove to be the warrior we knew she could be. But there was that feeling in my gut. Something primal that no words could pacify.
As you can imagine, it’s hard to engage in day to day business tasks when you are consumed with fear, worry, anxiety, and doubt about the safety and health of your kids. Darn near impossible, actually!
But, I buried my head in work every chance I got. Working on the website. Setting up a direct mail campaign. Reaching out to mentors and mastermind groups.
If I stopped working for even a moment, the gut feeling would take over. Fear, worry, anxiety, and doubt… gnawed at me. It began to wear me down.
I was scared.